Meet ‘Apache’ the History Maker
My parents owned a cattle ranch around Forest Lakes, Arizona, for 40 years. One of the most memorable horses during those 40 years was a true cattle horse named Apache. In his earlier years, Apache was raised on Red Lake Ranch, 60 miles southwest of Albuquerque, New Mexico. The ranch was situated on a high-altitude plateau with very few trees. While there, Apache had the horrible experience of being bitten on his nose numerous times by rattlesnakes.
As a result of the painful bites, Apache developed an avoidance strategy. Whenever Apache saw a tree limb on the ground or anything resembling a snake, he would instantly sidestep and sidestep fast. The problem was the rider on Apache ended up stranded in the air, four feet from where Apache sidestepped. A rider (like me) left stranded in the air with the horse and saddle missing is an issue. As far as I know, Apache didn’t want to share his problems with the rider, but he did anyway. What Apache did affects others.
Eventually, Apache aged beyond his cowboying days and retired at my parent’s ranch, The OW Ranch, in pine tree country in Arizona. Unfortunately for Apache, there are fallen pine boughs everywhere. He had never seen so many snakes. It didn't matter if the pine bough was long or short, brown or light brown. If it looked like a snake, it was a snake. To Apache’s mind, he would never get bitten by a rattlesnake again.
As a result, we informed anyone riding Apache about his avoidance strategy. You never know what looks like a rattlesnake to a 17-hand horse with an issue and the rider on board potentially sharing his issue. After sharing several personal experiences with Apache, I wrote him a letter. “Dear Apache, please cancel my subscription from your issues.” Apache was in a slump.
There’s a lesson here. Many people are like Apache, bitten by awful stuff happening to them in life. Maybe they have had a divorce, a business failure, or lost their best friend or loved one. As a result of these types of shaping events, they have lost hope in life or developed avoidance strategies that are crippling them. Like Apache, they are sidestepping real issues in their lives, trying to avoid ever hurting again.
You can’t blame Apache. What happened to him was tough, I mean tough. Mark Twain once said, “A cat that jumps onto a hot stove will never jump on a stove again." The problem is that the cat will never jump on a cold stove, either. That's called a slump.
But, through the years, I’ve seen many ‘Apache types’ of people get out of their slump. These people learned to discern if the stove was hot or cold. They became overcomers. To be an overcomer in life, we need something to overcome. How does one do that? How does an Apache with bad history become a history-maker in a good sense?
In 43 years of pastoring people, I’ve noticed seven encouraging signs that reveal they are starting on the road to their partial or complete recovery. Having been through deep trauma, I tend to look for these signs. Following these signs can move one from a victim to a doctor.
The first encouraging sign is people need to be willing to change, to do something different, and to take the first step in dealing with their issues. It takes courage to do that. It’s one thing to be a victim. It’s another thing to stay a victim. It takes a while to learn; nothing changes if nothing changes. James Clear says, “The best way to change the world is in concentric circles: start with yourself and work your way out from there."
Second, people need to be willing to face the reality of what happened to them. That's a hard one. There's some tough stuff happening to people these days. As a result of hurt, many people try to suppress, repress, or express what happened to them. The best way is to confess. Let light reveal what darkness is concealing.
Third, people become willing to learn about their issues and how to deal with their problems correctly and positively. They need to know that others have overcome the same issues they have. Hurt people aren’t doomed to hurt people. Formerly hurt people are meant to help people.
Fourth, people become willing to reach out to others, get counseling, or join a small group with others with similar challenges. They must be willing to give up being the lone ranger who is a lone stranger. The fifth encouraging sign is people become eager to start replacing destructive habits, attitudes, outlooks, and thinking with constructive ones. The sixth sign is people are willing to accept that getting out of their slump will be a process, not an event. They are willing to give time, time.
And finally, people become willing to let God help. They desire to give up their self-sufficiency for God's ability and sufficiency. To get out of my slump, I traded 'Delph-sufficiency' for 'God sufficiency.' That is the best deal I have ever made.
If you or someone you know has several of these signs, be encouraged, deliverance is coming.
Incidentally, Apache, after learning that you can jump on a cold stove, became one of the best horses the ranch ever owned. You can teach an old horse a new trick, making him a great history-maker. You can do the same with people too.
PS. James Clears says, "Be excited for people when they succeed. When a friend or family member reaches an important milestone like getting a promotion or making their first sale or scoring acceptance into their desired program, or overcoming rattlesnake bites, celebrate it. Buy them a coffee. Send them a card. Tell them you're proud to know them. Being thrilled on someone's behalf is a lovely way to be. Winning is better when shared."
Ed Delph/June 12, 2023/ CCC