Are You Fair Dinkum?

How do you like the title of this article? Many of you might be asking yourself, “What does fair dinkum mean?” I learned the term fair dinkum on my first trip to Australia years ago. After 40+ visits to Australia, I still hear fair dinkum quite often.  

So, what does fair dinkum mean? AI says, “Fair dinkum is an Australian slang term that means something is genuine, authentic, or unquestionably good. It's used as a general expression of approval. For example, you might say, "This person is fair dinkum." Fair dinkum means that you, a product, or anything else is what it appears to be. It's not a cheap substitute; what it claims to do is consistent with what it does. It’s the real deal. But there are also things and people who are not fair dinkum, and Aussies like to know in advance who or what is fair dinkum and who or what is not fair dinkum.

In his informative and exciting book Discovering Your North Star, Dr. Ike Reighard identifies a hypocrite in this fashion: “In Roman theatre, the cast of actors was all male. To play the role of a woman, or perhaps to play the role of anyone who looked quite different from themselves, they put on a mask to play a part in a play. Hypocrite has come to mean ‘phony’ or ‘pretending to be better than we are.’”

Dr. Reighard says, "We experience tremendous stress trying to be somebody we are not. It's like trying to hold balloons underwater. We may wrestle one or two beneath the surface, but sooner or later, one pops up with intensity. In the same way, our mask of the calm, competent person eventually falls off, and the hurt and angry actual face appears, but only for a moment before the mask is quickly put back on.”

According to Dr. Reighard, here are some masks that people wear.

·         We wear the mask of a hero but are afraid to fail.

·         We wear the mask of a comedian to hide our hurt and to divert attention from harsh realities.

·         We wear the mask of someone completely in control because we are terrified of being out of control.

·         We wear the mask of a 'nice,' accommodating person to avoid conflict at all costs.

·         We wear the mask of a person who never fails because we only feel safe if everything goes perfectly.

·         We wear the mask of a caring person because we hope to earn the appreciation of those we help.

·         We wear the mask of an incompetent slob because nobody expects much from somebody like that.

·         We wear the mask of a rebel because it makes people admire us from a distance.

·         We wear the mask of rage because we want people to be controlled by our anger.

·         We wear the mask of a shy, withdrawn person because most people won’t hurt someone so fragile.”

According to Dr. Reighard, here are some lessons for us: If you can’t make it being yourself, you certainly can’t make it being somebody else. It’s OK to learn from others and admire others. But don’t try to be something you’re not. If someone was interviewing your friends about you, what would your friends say? Would they say, “What you see is what you get!” or “Yes, he or she is true blue. They are fair dinkum.” But, if your friend smiles, uses doublespeak, and deals in generalities, it's time for a fresh look at who you are.

Being fair dinkum makes us consider ways to assess people or even who to vote for: Personality or Character? Reputation is what folks think you are. Personality is what you seem to be. Character is what and who you are when you are (by yourself). Fair Dinkum’s residence and address are on Character Street.

In Zig Ziglar’s book Something Else to Smile About, John Maxwell, one of the top leadership authorities in America, says: “Most people would rather work on their personality than their character. Perhaps that is because the personality development approach brings more immediate rewards, is less demanding, and, in many cases, involves less sacrifice on our part. Personality development involves learning new conventional skills and styles or developing a speaking ability. Personality development is more convenient and a prize in today’s world culture. 

Character development is more profound and considerably more complex. It often involves making changes that are at least temporarily uncomfortable and demanding. Changing habits is always a complicated procedure. The development of virtues requires time because it means we must discipline some of our appetites and passions. That takes work. Character development is the best indicator of maturity.” Good times reveal part of your character. Tough times reveal all of it.

John Maxwell concludes his thoughts by saying: “I believe I’m safe in saying that in today’s world, the need for character and leadership far outweighs the need for more people with more personality. Fortunately, the personality develops far more quickly and naturally when you develop the character.” If you go for personality, you get personality. If you go for character, you get personality thrown in. Just because you like someone’s personality doesn’t mean they are right.

It's true that truth can be denied, but truth can't be avoided. Sooner or later, you will be found out. Pretending will cease. The hypocrite mask won't hide you anymore. So, be fair dinkum – vote for truthful policy and process, not just a face or personality. You’ll be glad you did. Don’t be like the character-deficient person who says, “I’ll not listen to reason. Reason always means what someone else has got to say.”        

Ed Delph/October 7, 2024/CCC